i was born a porn star she said
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
