The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
