if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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