the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
