Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
