I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
