so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
