He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
