Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I need water and some morals
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
