so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
