His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
