Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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