We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
