I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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