omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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