handjob tips. give me some.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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