It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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