The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
