I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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