this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
