I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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