I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
