i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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