Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
