why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
