yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
