am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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