stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
