My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
