Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
