all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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