i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Shame - the story of my life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
