oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
