I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fuck appropriateness.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
