I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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