Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
