If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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