How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
