wrigley field is MILF paradise
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
cat food counts as protein by the way
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
