If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
