Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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