It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
