I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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