11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
