you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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