The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
