im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
