its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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