Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
