I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It was a blind-side dick pic.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
