her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
