And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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